Pet Health Guru T-Shirts

"It's mouseborn."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Bathing the dog

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'What's founder?'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"Serves you right for licking it!"

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

Lion with hair straighteners.

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

Clumping and Non-Clumping Cat Litter

"Not only does the vet want me to brush the dog's teeth, he wants me to floss it too!"

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'