Pet Health Expert T-Shirts

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'What's founder?'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"It's mouseborn."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

Ophiologist

"Serves you right for licking it!"

'The nice thing about group practice is that two minds are better than one.'

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

"And this will protect him from distemper."

"Not only does the vet want me to brush the dog's teeth, he wants me to floss it too!"

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

Sometimes he rubbed her the wrong way - which really rubbed her the wrong way.