Pet Expert T-Shirts

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

"I found it. It's catnip for the 5th anniversary and scratching post on the 10th."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Protoplasm

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"It's mouseborn."

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

'The nice thing about group practice is that two minds are better than one.'

Ophiologist

'Gee, I wonder where he picked up this behavior?'

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"It's a smart refrigerator that requires a password to open it. They always use one of our names. Their lack of creativity has finally caught up with them."

"It's not the dry food I hate, it's that crunching sound you make when you eat it!"

Sometimes he rubbed her the wrong way - which really rubbed her the wrong way.

Doctor Ernie, Animal Scientist, Answers Your Questions. A reader in Colorado asks "When should a colt be weaned from its mother?" A foal and his mommy are soon parted!

Smart dog

"I don't allow pets on the furniture, but I do allow them on the guests."

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

This is your park - get busy and clean up the doggie-doo!

'The necropsy was a success...but the patient lived!'

"Archie always understands when I tell him I'm dog tired."

The St. Bernard mastiff. A happy dog - rather!

Mew Tube

Animal Hospital

'It's heat exhaustion! She's in heat and he's exhausted.'

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."

'Junior! Get down from there! You're not arboreal!'

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"