Animal Specialist T-Shirts

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

An inbred poodle.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

"May I keep my collar on?"

Grumpy Hamster

Ophiologist

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

Balding dog

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'Gee, I wonder where he picked up this behavior?'

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.