Animal Specialist T-Shirts

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

An inbred poodle.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

Ophiologist

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

Grumpy Hamster

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

"May I keep my collar on?"

Balding dog

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'Gee, I wonder where he picked up this behavior?'