Pet Health Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'Well I say that the cuff on this endotracheal tube is overinflated!'

'It's nothing serious. You just have postman's elbow.'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'These will be photos for 'A Fat Cat is an Unhappy Cat' leaflet. So, please act accordingly!'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"Pick me!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Biofelineism

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

Love Conquers All

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"He's already getting attached to you."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Author's Bio-diversity.