Pet Hygiene Guru Pillows

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Biofelineism

Bathing the dog

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Wow, what a DILF."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

'Who's next?'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'Here, take these... we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

"It's mouseborn."

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

"Serves you right for licking it!"

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

Savoy Dental Salon

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

"I have a terrible problem with a licking myself where I shouldn't?"

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

Do you look like your pet ?

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'I wouldn't bother you on a Sunday if it weren't urgent...'

toothpaste, potatoes, chicken, spinach, ice cream, butter,bread...

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

'This company started from scratch.'