Pet Hygiene Guru Gifts

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Biofelineism

Bathing the dog

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Wow, what a DILF."

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

'Who's next?'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'Here, take these... we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

"It's mouseborn."

Savoy Dental Salon

"Serves you right for licking it!"

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

Do you look like your pet ?

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

toothpaste, potatoes, chicken, spinach, ice cream, butter,bread...

'This company started from scratch.'

'I wouldn't bother you on a Sunday if it weren't urgent...'

"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”