Pet Hygiene Enthusiast Gifts

'I was hard to get used to having showers, but the fur-ball problem has finally gone away...'

Don't Forget To Lick

Biofelineism

"Pick me!"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Canine Companion

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Bathing the dog

"Did you get my tweet?"

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Love Conquers All

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"He's already getting attached to you."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.