Pet Hygiene Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I was hard to get used to having showers, but the fur-ball problem has finally gone away...'

Don't Forget To Lick

Biofelineism

"Pick me!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

Bathing the dog

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

Love Conquers All

"He's already getting attached to you."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Did you get my tweet?"

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Author's Bio-diversity.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'