Pet Hygiene Advocate T-Shirts

Employees must wash paws after using litter box.

Biofelineism

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Bathing the dog

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'What's founder?'

A Change of Scene.

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood,...

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

At least your patients can't complain like the medical doctor's do!"

'TB or not TB, that is the question.'

Dog hitch hiking for a good home

"Good boy, Clifford."

"Not only does the vet want me to brush the dog's teeth, he wants me to floss it too!"

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'Are you aware that a dog can choke to death on chicken bones?'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Now class, let's not condemn the private practitioner who first saw this case and failed to make an obvious diagnosis."

'That's ridiculous! Who ever heard of a dog with hives?'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

Dog food 5p off - "No, it isn't a good reason to buy a dog!"

"I'm giving up chocolate for lent."

Yeah, once again, Mistress missed out on getting the rental property she wanted. The usual issue: no pets allowed...