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'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

dog vs UFO...

The Golfing Accident

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

If first impressions count for anything, this doesn't look good!

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Zoo: No Hunting.

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'