Pet Healthcare Enthusiast Pillows

'Fred just rages when he sees how veterinarians are portrayed on TV.'

'The most precious thing a practitioner can accomplish, my boy, is to accumulate a devoted following of these damned hypochondriacs."

'That's true, it would be cheaper to call a plumber....

"Pick me!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Biofelineism

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Did you get my tweet?"

Love Conquers All

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"He's already getting attached to you."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'