Pet Wellness Warrior Gifts

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

'Maybe I'd feel better if I had a facelift.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

Foster failure

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Burnout Syndrome...

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

'What are you eating now?'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'