Animal Wellness Warrior Gifts

'You've GOT to stop worrying about your patients, Doc!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

Foster failure

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Hot Pie Therapy

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'