Dog Wellness Guru Gifts

Chiropractor and Veterinarian.

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Wow, what a DILF."

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'What's founder?'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"It's mouseborn."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

'I signed him up in obedience school, but all he did was play hooky.'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

"It isn't quite how I pictured it, either."

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

"Not only does the vet want me to brush the dog's teeth, he wants me to floss it too!"

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

Lady in fur coat to dog: 'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'...and, we have with us today, a veterinarian...

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

'It's nothing serious. You just have postman's elbow.'

Mature Cat Formula.

'I used it to clip the dog. Why?'

The Cancer Risk of Processed Meat

'You say he's had chills and tummy ache?...'

'You'll have to stop feeding him chicken bones...

"Instead of chasing them like a madman, just ask the squirrels if they’d like to play with you."