Mindful Pet Owner Gifts

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

The best relationships are silent.

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'Stressed out dogs relax through Yoga.'

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

Cat yoga

'My cat is very unpredictable. I never know when he's going to ignore me.'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"I bark, therefore I am."

An advantage of robotic pets.

". . .What's this world coming to?"

Cultivated Meat Pet Food Lab

'Relax... breathe... visualize you inner dog treat...'

'Heal!' 'Heel!'

Junk food for dogs.

'Does 'Meow' really stand for the 'Moral Equivalent Of War?''

'Chewing bones? Hunting cats? Biting mailmen? C'mon, kid! Time to see the really important things in life!'

"Stop worrying if you're a good dog or a bad dog. Just be the best dog you can be."

"Of course there's a god... who do you think feeds us every day?"

"You're my precious little boo!"

Dog eating near dogfood bag: 'Now Gluten Free'

'Has this slop you fed me been checked for e-coli?'