Conscious Pet Owner Gifts

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Seagiraffes

No littering...

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

Dog Thoughts

"He was a sea rescue."

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'Stressed out dogs relax through Yoga.'

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

Timmys Pet Ostrich

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"Why can't you just hang out the window like all the other dogs!?"

"I bark, therefore I am."

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

An advantage of robotic pets.

"Enough with the criticism!"

'He's a very compassionate cat. He never kills any of the animals he catches.'

"I happen."

Cultivated Meat Pet Food Lab

'I'm training him to be a scientific advisor.'

Man takes skeleton dog on a walk.

"Yes, I'm a dog person. How did you know?"

"That 'Love thy neighbor' part, does that include cats?"