Pet Owner With A Difference Gifts

An advantage of robotic pets.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'Grrrr....'

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

Posh man taking his dog clay pigeon shooting

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

"You stop it, now!"

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"He was a sea rescue."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"