Pet Lover With A Twist Gifts

'Pavlov's dog eating Schrodinger's cat'

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Fore

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

'Boss, the perfect crime - we give fat Tony a pet alligator and years from now the 'gator eats Tony!'

Pet Cryogenics.

Roget's Pet

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

Dinosaur dig 'Pet cemetery'

Hitman To Do List...

"Please Mr. Ainsworth - He may talk!"

'I'm going to go get these carolers some egg nog.'

A robot keeps a drone in a cage as a pet.

101 uses of a dead cat: Christmas decorations.

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Archaeologists Unearth Dinosaur Pet.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

Dogs Must Be Carried: "Well that's not fair! I haven't got a dog!"

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'