Dog Lover With A Comic Twist Gifts

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"I'm working from home today."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Dog in love

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Gym Dog

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

Balloon dog training

Mountain Rescue for a Dog.

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Teacher's pet dog

"He ran out of pee."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

Litteratti K9s.

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"Actually I never loved you."

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'Beware of SUV.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'