Dog Lover With A Funny Twist Gifts

'That's right, my dog DID eat my homework.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"I'm working from home today."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Dog in love

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Gym Dog

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"Actually I never loved you."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

Teacher's pet dog

"He ran out of pee."

Litteratti K9s.

Al's Teachers' Pets.

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'Beware of SUV.'

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Rattache