Pet Lover With A Sense Of Irony Gifts

'How many times did I say it? Rex, I said, don't go too close to the cliff.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Gym Dog

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"He ran out of pee."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Teacher's pet dog

Litteratti K9s.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Beware of SUV.'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

Houdini's Dog

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

'The butler did it.'

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Tonight... Hemingway."

'The homework ate my dog.'

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

'How to make money in the stock market.'

"I promised him he could have a pet."

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

Beware of the dog.

"Here he comes! Don't move."