Animal Lover With A Twist Gifts

New York Stock Exchange: No Bulls or Bears were injured in today's trading.

"Definitely work-related."

"Wear the leopard-print underwear."

A cat reads an inscription on a mouse statue and thinks, "What crap!"

Old McDonald HAD a farm.

'Now they want us to write the grant proposal.'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

Diner

Hippo on helipad.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I've changed my minds. Maybe we don't need open plan living.'

The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

'I wish you would have come to see me sooner.'

Deer X-ing.

Jazz musician playing double bass. A cool seagull wearing sunglasses stands atop the instrument.

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

"Are you aware that your flood insurance policy has lapsed?"

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

'Malpractice? No -it's not our dog.'

Beauty is the eye of the Beerholder.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

My other pet is an exocet missile

'Couldn't you people have a dog or a cat for a pet?'

"And how long have you been agoraphobic?"

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

Are you sure it's a full-blooded Arabian stallion you bought?

"Crawford, I'm getting reports of inappropriate squeezing."

"Just remember, we switch back before we get to town."

A Good Bet.

'Counsellor Westcott!! For the last time! Stop Badgering the witness!'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

101 uses of a dead cat: scooter

'Someone's feeling bullish.'