Animal Lover With A Quirky Side Gifts

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Dog Dressed to Eat

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Pin the blame on the donkey.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Gym Dog

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"He ran out of pee."

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

Teacher's pet dog

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"Actually I never loved you."

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Beware of SUV.'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

Chippunks

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

Rattache

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."