Animal Lover With A Twist Pillows

New York Stock Exchange: No Bulls or Bears were injured in today's trading.

"Definitely work-related."

"Wear the leopard-print underwear."

A cat reads an inscription on a mouse statue and thinks, "What crap!"

'Now they want us to write the grant proposal.'

Old McDonald HAD a farm.

The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.

'I've changed my minds. Maybe we don't need open plan living.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

Hippo on helipad.

Diner

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

Deer X-ing.

Jazz musician playing double bass. A cool seagull wearing sunglasses stands atop the instrument.

'I wish you would have come to see me sooner.'

"Just remember, we switch back before we get to town."

"Crawford, I'm getting reports of inappropriate squeezing."

A Good Bet.

'Counsellor Westcott!! For the last time! Stop Badgering the witness!'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Are you sure it's a full-blooded Arabian stallion you bought?

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

"And how long have you been agoraphobic?"

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'Couldn't you people have a dog or a cat for a pet?'

My other pet is an exocet missile

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Beauty is the eye of the Beerholder.

'Malpractice? No -it's not our dog.'

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

"Are you aware that your flood insurance policy has lapsed?"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Don't tell Noah about the vasectomy."

"We raise our beef humanely."