Pet Owner With A Playful Twist Gifts

'I have a good feeling about Mistress' new boyfriend: He's a Council Dog-Catcher!'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Roget's Pet

Cat and mouse.

To them it's just a Prada handbag

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

K9 Literati.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

Pet Pony

'I hate surprises!'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."