Pet Owners With A Twist Gifts

"It's a good thing Effie likes these little funerals, she's had such awful luck with her pets."

Cat shot from mouse hole.

Voodoo fish.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

'Grrrr....'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"Now how did she know?"

Al's Teachers' Pets.

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"Mittens, this is what John Muir would call 'a charming little poem of wilderness.'"

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

A Provocative image from ancient Egypt which suggests not only that dogs exist, but also that they are graciously willing to accept out primitive Earth foods.

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

"My one regret is not napping more."