Pet Owners With A Twist Gifts

"It's a good thing Effie likes these little funerals, she's had such awful luck with her pets."

Cat shot from mouse hole.

Voodoo fish.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Home Sweet Home

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Roget's Pet

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

Cat and mouse.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

'Grrrr....'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

"Now how did she know?"

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

'I hate surprises!'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Mittens, this is what John Muir would call 'a charming little poem of wilderness.'"

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

A Provocative image from ancient Egypt which suggests not only that dogs exist, but also that they are graciously willing to accept out primitive Earth foods.