Dog Owners With A Twist Gifts

'Grrrr....'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Gym Dog

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

Teacher's pet dog

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"Pampered?"

'Beware of SUV.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

"He's a bad dog, but a good CEO."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

Houdini's Dog

'Good book?'

"This company isn't big enough for two anthropomorphic dogs."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

A dog reads a newspaper

"Tonight... Hemingway."