Dog Lovers With A Twist Gifts

"He's been trained in guard duty, attack, and litigation."

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

Dogs with alcohol collars.

'That's right, Frank, this is a double-cross. I'm really a Mafia dog.'

Boat Race and Dog

'Is it just me or are these dog food flavors the same as the entrees at the restaurant we ate at last night.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"I know it sounds like a sell out, but I made millions selling cat books and calendars."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

Gym Dog

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'Grrrr....'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Actually I never loved you."

Teacher's pet dog