Pet Parent With A Twist Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: croquet hoops.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

101 uses of a dead cat: knitting

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'We really should get him chipped.'

Bad girl.

"Struck by lighting, twice"

'A bone? Nah, he's burried the rival gang's dog.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Upper East Side Dog Park

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

"You stop it, now!"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"It's only the wind."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

"Is our owner hot?"

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Non-working dog, please help

Bad Dog

"I won't need a doggie bag."

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.