Pet Parent With A Twist Mugs

101 uses of a dead cat: croquet hoops.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

101 uses of a dead cat: knitting

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'We really should get him chipped.'

Bad girl.

"Struck by lighting, twice"

'A bone? Nah, he's burried the rival gang's dog.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Upper East Side Dog Park

Pampered Pets.

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"It's only the wind."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"You stop it, now!"

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Is our owner hot?"

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

Non-working dog, please help