Pet Parent With A Twisted Sense Of Humor Mugs

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Conversation between Dogs.

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Good book?'

"You stop it, now!"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Is our owner hot?"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Bad Dog