Unorthodox Pet Owner Gifts

"He was a sea rescue."

Seagiraffes

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Cat Show

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Roget's Pet

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'And this is scraps.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'