Unconventional Pet Lover Gifts

"I believe we've entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership."

"We bought her to replace little Henry's spleen, but then we just sort of fell in love with her."

101 uses of a dead cat: shoe scraper

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

"Lap fish..."

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"He ran out of pee."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

The pet shop of Doctor Moreau

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'