Bizarre Pet Lover Gifts

"You know very well you're not supposed to beg at the table."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"Lap fish..."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Al's Teachers' Pets.

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

The pet shop of Doctor Moreau

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."