Mischievous Pet Lover Gifts

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Thoughtful Dog

Cat lights rocket strapped to a dog

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Christmas Presents.

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Click it or ticket.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

"What have you done?"

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

"I'm training him."

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

"Violets are blue Roses are red Enjoy the dead mouse I hid in your bed"

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

'If we build it, they will come.'

"You know very well you're not supposed to beg at the table."

"Hey! What's all this white stuff? Let's try the front door."

"I bark and bark non-stop, and then they come home. It works everytime."

'Moral of the story? Oh, son, we don't have those.'

I'm really proud of him, he's just got his first 'dogbo'...

"Grandma specifically said not to dig in the rhubarb patch."

"Of course, he's very low maintenance."

"Tree's up!"

"I'm sure he does bring you your slippers and your morning paper, but that still doesn't make him a service dog."

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

'I told you not to argue with the ref, Dewey.'

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

To maximize energy efficiency, Elwood's owners install a doggie window instead of a doggie door.

"Perhaps, that will teach you not to wake the tortoise too early!"