Mischievous Pet Owner Gifts

"Tree's up!"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

'Fetch.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Biofelineism

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Super Dog'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Cat Show

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Christmas Presents.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

K9 Literati.

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

Pet Pony

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'