Unconventional Pet Keeper Gifts

'No, thanks. Mom. Allie's doing fine eating hamburger.'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

Remote-controlled cat flap.

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Give us a minute, honey."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"He was a sea rescue."

A serpent is entering and exiting cloth in an interesting fashion.

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

"What have you done with the doctor?"

"I believe we've entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership."

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."