Unconventional Pet Keeper Gifts

'No, thanks. Mom. Allie's doing fine eating hamburger.'

Barry shows off his new woodchuck farm.

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

Remote-controlled cat flap.

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Give us a minute, honey."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

"He was a sea rescue."

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

How did you get a talking gerbil? Long, long, long story. My mom was a geneticist. My dad was a zoologist. They were in love once, but they loved their science more, and grew far, far apart. To save the marriage, they joined forces and created a talking gerbil, Herbert. A tiny creature to cherish and solidify their bond. Run for your life. I pooped myself. 'Twas a fool's errand.

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"What have you done with the doctor?"

A serpent is entering and exiting cloth in an interesting fashion.