Health-conscious Pet Owners Gifts

Junk food for dogs.

'He doesn't smoke around the kids or at home, but he doesn't seem to worry about MY passive smoking!'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'What's founder?'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"It's mouseborn."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Cat says to lazy cat: 'Are you aware that sedentary lifestyle is now the number one killer, ahead of curiosity?'

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'Stressed out dogs relax through Yoga.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

". . .What's this world coming to?"

"It's a good thing Effie likes these little funerals, she's had such awful luck with her pets."

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'