Veterinary Assistance Gifts

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Lactose Intolerant

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"This never happened."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"Fill it up!"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Cat Scan

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."