Veterinarians Gifts

'My owner asked me a question and I did that cute, little 'Head Tilt' thing and...'

'Give him this laxative and run like hell.'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'No No Colin! - we don't wrap Gerbils!'

"Oh, the kids were delighted to see me back, however, Master almost had a fit when he saw the vet's bill..."

"If I describe the medical file I need, could you go fetch it for me."

'This will kill the spores.'

"Since we had the baby, he's been smoking, drinking and rude. I think it's his way of getting attention."

"He loves chasing cars but hasn't figured out what the brake lights mean."

'I haven't been kicked once since I bought this new thermometer.'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

'You say, 'his tentacles haven't come down'?'

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

"It must have been nice to get spotted all those medical school loans."

"I thought it would be difficult to paper train a dog, but Spot made a remarkable adjustment!"

#NoJunk

"While I am concerned about your son, I'm more worried about your dog. He has eaten an awful lot of homework."

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

Mouse Dentist Removes Cat's Teeth.

'I don't understand it! I've been eating his homework for three years and I'm not a bit smarter.'

A lemming suffering from survivor's guilt.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"His bark is worse than his bite."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'The Tusk Fairy'

'It's Prince, our best sniffer. He OD'd.'

'I take it all back Rex! This is great!'

'Bone appetit!'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."