Veterinary Scholar Gifts

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

"Now turn your head and bark."

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

Separation

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'Where's my glove?'

'What's founder?'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

Examination.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'