Veterinary Science Buff Gifts

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Fill it up!"

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Separation

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Examination.

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"