Veterinary Know-it-all Gifts

So, yes, anytime a client wants to observe their pets' surgery...

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Young Dr. Dolittle.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"Fill it up!"

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Separation

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'