Veterinary Know-it-all Pillows

So, yes, anytime a client wants to observe their pets' surgery...

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"Fill it up!"

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Separation

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'