Veterinary Science Fan Gifts

'I've been catching my tail a lot lately.'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

Separation

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

Examination.

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

An inbred poodle.

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Elephant Trunk and Hose Pipe.

"I'm afraid it's curiosity."

'He was a physician, but because of all the difficult patients he gave it up and became a veterinarian.'

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'