Veterinary Humor Fan Gifts

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

"We were lucky to find that flamingo joint for your knee replacement."

'He charges too much!...

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'Oh Hi!'

The americanisation of vulture.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"I think it stopped breathing."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."