Veterinary Humor Lover Gifts

Clothesline.

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Dog on a Shelf.

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

Give it to me straight, Doc, and don't poopcoat it.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!