Veterinary Clinic Humor Gifts

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory'

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

'Don't worry, it's just the anaesthetic...'

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

Casey's Veterinarian Clinic and Taxidermy 'Either way you'll get your pet back.'

'But hey, who am I to complain?'

Outingpatient

'I don't care if a person would have been treated the same way. This is not a person. This is MY DOG!"

'No I'm going to do this one standing.

"Probably not the best time for vacuuming."

'How the heck does one do CPR on a tortoise?'

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

'I'm pretty sure that you have something that is difficult to pronounce.'

"I can't find anything wrong with you at all."

'With this flashlight technique we can save a lot of money on radiographs!'

'What's your husband's intolerance ?'

"We were lucky to find that flamingo joint for your knee replacement."

I have learned how to solve most of these Sharpei dermatological problems...

'Is there ANY good news, Doctor?' 'Well, you don't need to worry about scraping by on a pension.'

'There - it's down, now give her nine more of these daily.'

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

Fertility Clinic Notice - Watch For Children