Comedy Of Veterinary World Gifts

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory'

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

It's not that I cheat or read faces: I'm good at poker because I can smell fear...

Casey's Veterinarian Clinic and Taxidermy 'Either way you'll get your pet back.'

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

'Don't worry, it's just the anaesthetic...'

'But hey, who am I to complain?'

'No I'm going to do this one standing.

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

'How the heck does one do CPR on a tortoise?'

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"Yep, that's water retention."

'With this flashlight technique we can save a lot of money on radiographs!'

"We were lucky to find that flamingo joint for your knee replacement."

I have learned how to solve most of these Sharpei dermatological problems...

'He's the laziest dog I've ever seen.'

Extended Stay.

Dog receives an electric shock from an electrical fire hydrant.

'There - it's down, now give her nine more of these daily.'